Tag: #simplicity

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I almost changed my Name.

It was the year 2012. One of those many years that was expected to be the end times.

In that time I was going through a time that I will call a marked period of deep spiritual renewal and personal growth.

Through various periods of deep effective spritual experiences I had the thought to change my name.

I did this based off of the biblical tradition of God changing someones name after a time of important personal change.

The first thing I did was I started personally relating towards using my Saints name. Who is my patron saint you might ask?

My patron saint is Adam… the one who screwed everything up. He was also the first to return to God and offer sacrifice in covenant. He also for a good while walked around naked in a Garden and ate a bunch of delicious veggies and fruits while talking to animals. Might sound like a trip to Vegas for many but however you slice it “win win”.

I always loved the primitivity inherent in imagining existing like Adam.

The closeness to the source..the awareness of my dustness. I am not a self made man. I am a ‘God made’ man.

That was the humility I wanted to embody in my life. Would to God I could have more of that.

As time went by more name change thoughts came to the fore. I felt like more than ever I was learning what it meant to be a man ‘as me’. I was returning and I was ‘becoming’. I was even what I was becoming.

In the Bible Jacob was “the supplanter” one who took anothers place; if but by ‘sacred trickery’ by trickery no less. However in time Jacob ‘Yakov’ would be supplanted by an even higher destiny..to be Israel “He who contendeth with God and wins.”

James is a transliteration of Yakov in English. As James somewhere I felt a deep sense that in many ways I had a leprechauns luck but always at a hip jarring price. I may march into heaven but always with limping gate about me. I still to this day feel like Israel D. Adam Broxson, one who has struggled manfully with God and won the prize of God, an apostle who conserves energy by not wasting it, knowing I am but mankind made of the red clay; for I am the one who dwells by the rivers of running ‘living’ water who bears his fruit in due season as I dwell by the brook.

I may have not changed my name at the Marshall North Carolina Courthouse like I almost tried to do many years ago but that name still lives within me like an identity. Who knows maybe it will become my penname so it keeps a more religious than civil signifigance? All I know it that a rose by any other name is not always just as sweet. Sometimes who we are inside evolves and how it reflects outside does as well. I am a new man, a grown seed changing. I am happy to be..even “who I am becoming.”

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depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion music Poetry Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

Sometimes {Poem freeversed}

Sometimes poetry is the only thing that can get out what’s inside of me.

The knotwork knowledge grease to unconstipate for dam release.

What in damnation? Too much information..

The reasonable rationed sensation of the man of a micro nation. Set apart..

How great that ART. 🎨 Were we to do what we start by stating the finished point and reaching the saving arche.

Archetypes are boat rides that float tired note tides..we didn’t expect.

Redirect 404 error. No reason to despair her.. i mean she the soul within.

She’s a good soul and it’s a rude goal to to too hard to ‘control’ the process.

The process is science and science progressed science which is good knowledge to have for hindsight trust reliance..

To know who we became is to lock to a become. A faith but in faith.

A beat to hearts drum.

Ride on.

Friar Tech Deck.

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depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion Poetry Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

Written { A Poem}

That which is writ worked on heart not on stone.

A work written by acts of life not mere wordsmith hewn.

Not proverbs for proverbs sake, wise-signaling much.

A crescendo of newness a newness as such.

To make new the old man.

Treasures old and new.

A Christ child, a married monk a cell made for ‘2’.

Into your cell go and learn what’s without.

By going within learn outside without doubt.

A Trinity, Duopoly, a unity monopoly.

What a terrible atrocity when we all do own everything.

I’m a Monk to be married a husband as Monk.

I’m a classical heir of medieval funk.

I’m a Theological DJ ..Dilloneous Monk.

An Ubermensch Scrap man with Junk in the Trunk.

An Ubermensch Every man Dandying Uptown Funk.

I’m busting it downtown.

I’m grinding at Cornerstones doing nothing a round clown.

A fool not a tool depending whose in the shed.

Negative opinions don’t touch me. Spirit men arrready dead.

I’m hooked to the sojourning wayfaring life.

A metaphysical pirate awayed from life’s strife.

My diction and phonics is One Word all do Know. It’s not fiction though subtle reality owned.

I’m stick stuck on moving thus staying in place. I’m paradox left, right and center unslaved.

Liberated by serving reality et all. En masse the masses together we fall.

I’m taking wearing my wardrobe too seriously. I’m a suit now. #rocketpower !
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Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living.

One day…(at a time) I’m going to learn to Love.

We live in a day and age with many different opinions and in a time where people don’t know what live and let live means.

Some might say it is because we have surrendered too much of our self government to the governing powers.

The Project Vehicle.

Others would say it begs the question the idea that the government would not ‘enshrine our values’.

For people like me the poles of secular and religious nationalism express perfectly why I don’t consider myself having reached my country. My kingdom ‘is’ not of this world.

There is a belonging without violence.

There is a city without nationalism.

There is an inclusivity with open diversity.

There is identity with cosmically aligned individuality.

There is a post post modernism that progresses and doesn’t destroy all ancient values.

The apex we stand on like a spinning globe is the interrelation of movement that is fixed and chaotic.

The social architects of the world may be called ‘they’ by some but to cool headed non conspiracists who are not afraid of the mechanics of the worlds infrastructure we merely call it a project vehicle.

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depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

Therapy isn’t “Following the Money”.

I’m nervous as all get out tonight and I don’t really know why but I can say for sure that part of it is exemplified in how long it has taken me to make another blog post.

Cohesive senses of identity are difficult for neurodivergents like myself who have goldfish level attention to the present unless the deepseated passion quota within is met.

As a father and a husband I find myself struggling between the pragmatic mercantilism of St. Francis of Assisis father and the universal trustful love of St. Francis as if there were no way to balance the two.

I’m torn; comparing myself to the subjective standard of success I see in others and my fear of not measuring up to the imaginary ‘standard’.. all the while fearing the giving up of better heavenly real estate, my truest goal because I could only ever justify being a capitalist in the kingdom of heaven because I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work very well for human nature down here on planet earth.

And yet somewhere deep inside my conflict (deep conflict) is that I of assurety believe in balance and yet I desire for the extremes of childlike trust in God and radical trust in His free miraculous work through His creation like I knew in my youth.

What do I need to become not only who I used to be but the next chapter of me?

Am I perhaps meant to be both? Sometimes a turned page is merely the front and back of one turned page.

I’m convinced I’m too young for a midlife crises but perhaps I’m early! If I die before I’m old perhaps I’ll have the luxury to live before I’m dead.

As a guy I knew once said.. “I don’t know what I’m doing and so can you.”

Original clay and mixed digital media art by me: “Blood and Water”.

http://@dillbro7
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The Mastermind Manifesto

The usual trifle of a mastermind is their undoing but there is a mastermind of daunting courage, accidental lack of ego and yet an individualism that “seeks not its own.” yet “lacks nothing” and is “perfectly equipped for every good work.”

‘The usual trifle of the Mastermind is the ‘truffle’ of the Mastermind. Wishing to escape the watching eyes of commoners presumed swine that are in their common simplicity the sign and signat of that primeval connective singularity of all beings the mastermind alone presumes to be the all seeing eye..and yet..”the spiritual man judgeth all things and yet is judged by no one.”

This is Yin and Yang, Light and Dark, Batman and Robin.

Shadows have the tendency to reveal the truth.

Just as Sherlock Holmes might make a game of wits with a man of wits similar and the chess game that interweaves as we see consciousness show mysteries, that is the mystery of evil and the mystery of good.

How does one of similar temperament and comportment as another choose evil or good?

How many of us truly ever meet our archnemesis?

The arechtypical mastermind is not entirely evil and vile.

The Benevolent Ego of the good Mastermind absorbs into the all.

Whilst being an individual self he is at the service of all.

While being egoless he has become all.

While the evil mastermind secures his fortress the good mastermind makes a glass house.

Through accountability is wrot tranquility for accountability is “to be known” by another name.

The evil mastermind secures his own house. When the good leader rules he secures homes for all.

Two houses all and all and great the potential dirges for if either were to fall and yet one shares generosity with urgency the other clenches stones and gold alike.

Like a dark prince of shimmering, ethereal and uncreated light so is the rarity of this egoless gift to humanity.

He/she calls back the valor of the medieval knights of lore. He is victorious and powerful and has found the white stone with his name on it. His name will never be blotted out.

May we all strive for such egoless truth of existence.

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depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

Settling into Solitude.

It is easier than people think for you to have an opinion when people are listening; contrary to the modern proverb “You can’t even have an opinion anymore.”

I know this because I wanted to be heard for years.

I had been glossed over. I had been forgotten. I had been passed over.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10154434587539536&id=643959535

For about 5 or so recent years though I was performing live very regular as performing artist/ musician and in what could be considered a pendulum between a new entertainment extroversion to never before experienced levels and on the flip side semi extreme hermitism.

Then in comes the pandemic and I assume the role of a stay at home dad, the multimillion dollar company that used to pump posts about the show I leaded was no longer boosting my content with consistent and gratuitous amounts of ad revenue and that even in cahoots with some of my personal accounts.

The connection of my activity to Facebook translated mysteriously into my person seemingly having value to said algorithm (even if I wasn’t by any means even close to making the type of money the company I worked for was). To all possible intellectualization I could make out however, that the algorithm believed I was famous whether I was much at all. I was noticed somewhat. I was heard. I wasn’t so passed over.

Let me give you one lesson though. Facebook is not censoring you because they do not like you. Facebook just isn’t ‘boosting you’ because you aren’t making them money. At that time I was but now the algorithm believes I am noone, caput, basically a nobody.

This is the sad value testimony of human value in our crapitalist society. Nothing is usually popular in the way it was in ancient Athens.. back when intellectual values, philosophy of ideas and metaphysics were valuable of their own accord and merely for the fact of having mused upon them and nursed them into schools of thought. Now even that value is worthless unless it’s ready to pay the piper. I wonder how much money Facebook wastes not investing in these ideas. But I guess every time a toilet flushes at Walmart a tax deduction angel gets its wings!

So I’m settling in to a more long lasting version of my hermitage but I would be lying if I said that my depression has been totally at bay.

And yet still I’m doing something that some in the medicine/ science only crowd might think muddies the waters into dangerous hippy sentimentalist territory. I’m taking alot of walks in nature, exercising, taking my cbd, eating better, avoiding excessive alcohol or cussing at puppies and of course writing my blog as one part of my weekly healing process.

And you know what .. it helps; because sometimes even after a good helping of protein rich organic peanut butter pancakes.. on a rainy day, when your mind is racing and the sleep disorder demons have clocked out, they need someone to pick up a shift and of course the depression demons are ready and rearing to go. Even so when I write it out it has been transmitted from the realm of thoughts to the realm of words and in my subjective pseudoscientific opinion it seems to help.

I always knew I was an ‘ideas person’. I was always desperate to be stuck in a college academia library studying theology, philosophy, science, physics, social theory (EVERYTHING)!

I have always been mad that whatever secret branch of the government that hires for think tanks hasn’t broke their silence and reached out to me yet. But patience is a virtue after all! Le-sigh.

Re-sign. That’s my miraculous auto predict shake out of writers block! And that’s precisely what I’m getting to now.

The first step to embracing and truly enjoying solitude is getting past the loneliness and just because I’m married doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely when it’s just me and my daughter during the day. Yes.. even with my daughter there I get lonely sometimes and that’s ok even if her just being there really really helps!

You see loneliness is no respecter of persons. And yet perhaps its more helpful and comfortable to be all St. Francis like and call her Sister Loneliness.

Loneliness is like engaging a Jericho wall and sometimes you just got to blast a trumpet in your heart and shake yourself up a little to get past the false barriers it suggests and remember somehow, right now, life is still being lived.

You also must be humble if your’e more the type to be desirous of the hermit lifestyle because whether Pentupium Introvert 5.0 or not you just have to face the music that people aren’t always terrible and in many ways many of them are much better than you… and that’s ok! After all you have your own strengths and weaknesses too!

Most saints probably don’t mantra on that word too much or at the least they think it means something different than most people think it means.

So also a healthy hermit has to be humble and it is as intriguingly intricate as this idiomatic tongue twister.

The healthy hermit is the balance of ones needs and “the Others” needs.. whichever other or Other that may be.

Healthy solitude is a gift for a heart that is healing. It is the opposite of the crusted bitterness of undealt with trauma. The deep irony for he, she or they that seek solitude is this.. one can only seek solitude well as they find a supporting cast.

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NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF EXHAUSTION.

Rain on the window pane washing pain away.

Pains as from yesterday; yes I wash the pain away.

I’ves and Eve’s and long ago stand me now here today.

I’ves and Eve’s and long ago stand me now here today.

My beginner Garden this time last year!

https://musingsofapictureframeconversationalist.com/about/

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Extensions.

(A little poem comment I wrote for y’all antimaskers. )

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
So the fear of the Lord isn’t an end in itself.
Is it fear to avoid hell which is worthy to fear and then say to the sick..go now physician and heal thyself?

Jesus said preach and heal is thy task. Where many words are -sin will not be lacking..so why oh erudite soul wont you please wear a mask?

If the Lord is to fear and the punishments of hell and to heal and to preach is thy mission pray tell..can you not also protect another’s mortal shell?

You know it is written as has been duly known by the beautiful Jewish messiah bethroned that what’s done to the least of these is done to His own.

Therefore if you quibble at a small ethical task …can your master charge you in the big if you can’t wear a mask?

Wear a mask ,wear a mask is all that they ask during pandemic plagues do the wise “cancel’ that?

Elephants work for peanuts and GOPple them fast..if it could save some one you know WHO’d appreciate that…

Most kindly then till the coast clears .. for the least of these “that” will you do them a favor.. wont you please wear a mask?!

This message is approved by James Dillon Broxson. Thank you Kay Ivey for extending the mask mandate and listening to our public health officials. It means the world to us that you are trying your best to put people before politics on this issue. A good and ethical bipartisan and science following move. Legacy comes from doing the right thing over merely following a brand. We appreciate it.

UPDATE { I SPOKE TO FAST… SHE CHANGED THE MASK ORDER TO A CHOICE THING. GOOD GRIEF!!!}

P.S. I’m glad she did the right thing for a while but I guess politicking is an endless pressure. “Shaking my head. “

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depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

MOTIVATION AND TRIALS.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/Buddha-Looks-Upon-The-Bathing-Woman-Original-Black-And-White-Dark-Room-/274762378505?_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286

We all have days where we want to give up.

In 2020 those days seem even more prevalent. It’s pretty ironic when you feel so dry you want to throw in the towel and all the while in this desert whetting ones appetite for one’s passions seems like a misnomer..as if doing what you were seemingly created to do is a mistake.

Of course to a mind on the mend such negativity seems pointless; such musings seem fruitless. But hear me out in my musings on executive dysfunction. When you have expended yourself in so many directions and you know you have skills but the outlets haven’t listened.. what IS one to think?

Your’e just a plug and they’re just an outlet and the frustration of what is seemingly made for the other is when ‘it is’ according to external appearances of design but not by internal technicalities or by full undertakings to comprehend such an investments stability.

There are those systems one chooses that seems like a fit and then there is that system that even when seeming on the brink of failure shows it’s strength in the storm.

The system that wins and that appreciates you is by wisdom and apparent providential matchmaking ‘that which is attenuated to you even when it seems about to fail. “

It is a system that sees the you fallen and in vulnerability and realizes in you ‘the you of hidden strength’.

There it holds up the mirror revealing your liberty. Freedom is a hard task to navigate in this world. It is a hard thing to learn to find and yet the wise intuitions upon which freedom is found is easily accessible. It just only can be accessed by the peaceful and calm confidence of ‘the mind of a child. ‘.

ABOUT James Dillon Broxson