Categories
depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion Make money Online! Poetry Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living.

On Narcolepsy, Motivation and Global Pandemics.

Photo by Dominika Greguu0161ovu00e1 on Pexels.com

Imagine that you were just getting things settled. You had your challenges and you had your pages well written. You weren’t perfect but life was by no means even close to bad. Things were going pretty well.

Yet somewhere lingering in the back of your mind was your desire to make a career change, to stand up for yourself.

You wondered when might life give you “a break”.

You do things a certain way all the time and the rythm of what you do is rythmic like praying on prayer beads or speaking in tongues. Even the things you loathe that pay the bills are the things that ironically give you time to connect to and to protect that same heart.

Then right when you are gearing towards having your first child with your wife you waited 31 years of your life to find and are beginning to find stablilizing routines, a Global Pandemic strikes.

You aren’t ‘entirely unhealthy’ but youv’e almost died of 2 viruses at once, had spinal meningitis, presently have various stomach and digestive maladies, and have had sinusitus since youth.

Youv’e underwent years of anxiety, depression and OCD. You had the secret wonder that maybe you were on the autistic spectrum for many years.

You recently found out why you were so cripplingly tired all the time and that you have narcolepsy and sleep apnea..with it’s happy symptom of insomnia.. Cherry on top ‘amirite’?

Youv’e been prepared for this test for it was the very first one.

Time to be a man. Time to survive whatever comes. You don’t complain for food shortages at the bum rushed super market…your fight or flight is too strong for that. Neither do you have a reductionistic view of surviving crises periods of history that only thinks about the obvious, trying to save money, trying to make more money.

You realise if push came to shove you can’t eat money.

You buy seeds along with your normal grocery. You save every seed from the refuse. You begin to compost and trial and error on learning to grow from seed.

You don’t think about comfort first. You are essentially reverted to your caveman effigy and your title is if you win war with the Mastodon.

However the Mastodon in this scenario is smaller than the angel dancing on a needle tip.

You wanted to learn coding for years and work from home for years and you also have immunocompromised possibilities, a new baby with similar, or some of the same, narcolepsy in one hand, anxiety coming from too much stimulation in the other leave you to figure out balance along with the false attributions you put on yourself out of false masculinity “You’re not a man if your staying at home with the baby right now!”. “Your were forced to be on unemployment right ..why isn’t that blog thing making money yet?!”

Time takes time from you with dividends. And for whatever you earn off of time the taxman likes to knock on the door.

Yes I don’t want a stranger watching my brand new baby during a global pandemic thank you very much and yes I am going to do everything I can to put life first.

If a rich man with a corporation has a bottom line so do I.

If a poor man can inherit the kingdom of God well so can I.

If the poor are close to God and the Kingdom of God is within the poor in spirit it seems pretty obvious that in the poor exists riches beyond comprehension.. hence the royalty and riches of a “kingdom” of the incomprehensibly glorious “God”.

Life keeps going and I keep on ‘recalcitrantly surviving’ in defiant joyful spite of if some think my life is expendable.

I do not ask them.

If they question me I can submit their questions to THE MANAGEMENT.

I am working on my project and I will succeed. Every once in a blue moon a memorandum should be made.

Every once in a while the Magna Carta written up, the ‘Terms and Conditions’ renewed.

They may change at any time mind you. Its a two way street this communication thing.

I am trying to keep motivated. I am going to make these dreams come true. And really I don’t know how to do any different. The subconscious is sandboxing. The Wiki is leaked. I am not afraid anymore.

I am tired but I have lost my edge. I am tired but I am not tired anymore.

I am growing. I am a warrior. I am motivated.

Like What You See?

I love what I do and I do what I love but for This Picture Frame Conversationalist I's gotta pay them bills y'all! If you like what you see feel free to give a like and a subscribe but also remember that for 12$ a year ( 1$ a month) you can be enrolled as a premium subscriber and have first access to previews of my content whether comics, art, books music or merch as well as half off any of my releases. For a one time donation I offer a bandcamp music download of my music as a thank you.

$1.00

Categories
Uncategorized

Getting into Bitcoins!

I am in a very exciting time right now of expanding my mind via new world possibilities. Bitcoin currencies and other crypto-currencies so called  have caught my attention; not just because of the way they seem to be looming on the horizon of financial history like giants ready to take off but also because they are revolutionizing the peer to peer level of human business transactions. Some conspiracy theorists think that bitcoins are too indicative of a suspiciously globalist agenda but that is a little far fetched. For sure bitcoins are a marquee for an age of greater trade between developed or developing countries but as far as I can tell Bitcoins are going to mark a return to a more localized manner and mindset of handling transactions WORLDWIDE! If you are interested in learning more about Bitcoins follow me here on WordPress and on Facebook at “Learning Bitcoins”. I will be sharing my process along the way!  Also if you never have set up a Bitcoin wallet I recommend XAPO. They are a very trusted site that is very secure. Here is a referral to join for free and make a wallet to receive Bitcoin transactions  http://xapo.com/r/XX3G4R4 . You will be started off instantly with 50 bits. Also Micro- pay outs can be received directly to your wallet free of charge by following this banner to Bitcoinker! http://bitcoinker.com/img/200×200.gif