In this current time and in contrast to long ago cynics excoriating each other for their personal ‘utopia’ of choice, ‘dystopia’ seems to fall from the lips enough to be nearly cliche.
In our present age of mass political polarization, paranoia and ignorance of the leprous ‘other’ we have gated our walls and shut our minds.. only venturing out for serious business.
Of course much of this is justified. Stupidity has run amok and no boogeyman doesn’t reside under rocks unturned. We can’t be too careful and thus so we are..to preserve whatever little vestige of stable world-to-self awareness the social zeitgeist challenges in the everyday existences of us all.
Even so.. even so, when some of the worlds richest men during global pandemics fly gleefully to space while many regular folks can’t even make their car payments on time to make it to their self same Amazon jobs it seems to drive home the megalomaniacal nature of late stage economic dystopian billionaires.
Feeling like ants working for the magnifying glass kid all the while hearing the gamut of superiority speeches from one’s own Job’s mourners.
“How dare you question what made you thus as if He made you not?”
All the while we pray on our rosary beads “There is no capital without labor and there be no labor without capital. “
Providing jobs? With income inequality its more like providing “Job’s”.
The common folks arguing all the while about what economic system is superior and doting trifles about backing up currency with gold, or corn or silver all whilst Elon Musk Tweets about the similar worthlessness of crypto to fiat currency.
People across the world striving for an illusion, megalomaniacal billionaires capitalizing off of it and beaurocracies never able to meet a need on time.. all based off of the same illusion.
It is a strange and sinister evil to laugh about an illusory system you capitalize from while the same illusion kills others.
If currency was born after tribal epidemics as a fitting alternative to handshakes perhaps as the pandemic finally fizzles humanity must learn to shake hands once again.
Le sigh for my se la vie. For my vitality you see I just need to just be.
I often write to get my edge off when nothing else suffices, nothing else cuts it.. nothing else works.
I don’t really understand this world sometimes but knowing it understands me sometimes is a real cure for depression.
Yes I said cure and yes I only said it to spite the backlash of ‘factscism’. Sure it might not be the cure the test tube demonstrated but life doesn’t always happen in a test tube either baby.
Today is me and my wife’s 3rd wedding anniversary. A beautiful day and a cure to my ails all it’s own but even so today had it’s inner challenges for me. My desires to be more, to give more, to provide more, my ‘perfectionisms’ are riding on me and exhausting me.
Business associates not cooperating with me and returning emails so I’m stuck and cannot work because of technical issues. A pine tree fell on a power line down the road from my house so we couldn’t cook at home for our anniversary but had to go to my parents .
…Update: I just returned to this draft half a month later. We survived and had a good dinner. All is well.
Problems really seem more problematic when they’re happening.
It is rare in this generation to avoid the reductio ad absurdum method of criticism.
The discourse tends towards the assumption that – “Never is a thing ‘not meant’ where a thing other than what we thought is meant could ‘be’ meant!”. That’s impossible! No alternative meanings to words and idioms exist!
But the speakers of words and their context are their own custodians even if they may be clumsy or downright innane in how they carefully or uncarefully craft their speech in interaction with culture. The punishments for these indiscretions are rarely inadequate.. they always seem to get the job done!
In our society it could be likened to the experience of one who has lost faith in the true order of numbers. When I say 1+2 some think I’m saying 1+3.
This they do because they think that 2 is actually “2” come after 3 like 1-3-2 rather then the proper order of 1-2-3. Of course we know this isn’t the case as it is indeed 1-2-3 and yet somewhere down the line communication has been similarly vacuously disconnected from reality and left to serve individual fears.
This too is soundbite inequality. But what is soundbite inequality?! Soundbite inequality is the tyranny of the hashtag, the cloudiness of group pressured group think, the relativism of right and wrong not averted to but rather the cultural might vs right.
Soundbite inequality is the fear baiting social darwinism that gives no room to understand the other or even to understand at all.
It knows no political preference. It dines with right wingers and leftists.
Soundbite inequality does not visit the offending party in secret like Christ with Nicodemus. It is opposed to new beginnings and forgiveness. It eschews the sacralism of allowing redemption. “You mustn’t be born again!” says soundbite inequality Christ! It’s bad for business! Soundbite inequality doesn’t believe in a gospel of forgiveness because it doesn’t believe anyone can repent.
Soundbite inequality Christ is a clamoring, noisy businessman after all and he is very busy making sure ‘that’ never happens. Soundbite inequality always assumes our opponent is very deeply below us and like a classic country western demands a public quick draw. Sadly this is Americanism at its finest. Forsaking a culture of transcendence we have become individual czars and yet our kingdoms are deeply atomized and even more deeply limited. We say everyone has human dignity and is our equal. Our own actions typed or trod condemn us.
We describe soundbite inequalities as critiques but we are not present at an art show. We describe soundbite inequalities as an admonishment but we are remote and safe behind our desk not even before our opponents human eyes. We describe our admonishment as righteousness but we forsake all opportunities for true peace for even the remotest risk of false peace. We do this as an excuse. We don’t want true peace after all. We don’t want ‘peace’ at all!
In this we sin and we lose. It is not because we know we knowingly sin! But our sin is that we don’t know we sin and in this context it is worse of all!
Soundbite inequality as a principle is NOT the acknowledgment of a feigned moral equality between the variable issues of left and right politics in their individual cases and case by case particularities nor is it a critique of politics by it’s sole variabilities alone… though it may have many examples of its play in political theater.
Soundbite inequality is the anti-zen plain and simple of refusing to listen to another human being from their individual core. It is the refusal to answer another’s fears or to acknowledge that positions may be taken from family indoctrination or from mistaken and patently false but sincere platitudes. It is the race of Cain fallacy applied to those whose personal philosophy we do not know. It is the destructing not instructing of the ignorant. It is to ignore sound interpersonal principles of human nature and psychology. Soundbite inequality is taxation by misrepresentation.
And yet the worst part of soundbite inequality is that it bespeaks unbending positional rigidities so stark and so cocksure that it admits in broad daylight that its goal is not the revolution found on the surface of it’s words..or its hashtags.
Soundbite inequality is a rose of another name to the status quo but its just as sweet to those who savor it.
In the last analysis soundbite inequality ‘is’ simply the status quo.
It is easier than people think for you to have an opinion when people are listening; contrary to the modern proverb “You can’t even have an opinion anymore.”
I know this because I wanted to be heard for years.
I had been glossed over. I had been forgotten. I had been passed over.
For about 5 or so recent years though I was performing live very regular as performing artist/ musician and in what could be considered a pendulum between a new entertainment extroversion to never before experienced levels and on the flip side semi extreme hermitism.
Then in comes the pandemic and I assume the role of a stay at home dad, the multimillion dollar company that used to pump posts about the show I leaded was no longer boosting my content with consistent and gratuitous amounts of ad revenue and that even in cahoots with some of my personal accounts.
The connection of my activity to Facebook translated mysteriously into my person seemingly having value to said algorithm (even if I wasn’t by any means even close to making the type of money the company I worked for was). To all possible intellectualization I could make out however, that the algorithm believed I was famous whether I was much at all. I was noticed somewhat. I was heard. I wasn’t so passed over.
Let me give you one lesson though. Facebook is not censoring you because they do not like you. Facebook just isn’t ‘boosting you’ because you aren’t making them money. At that time I was but now the algorithm believes I am noone, caput, basically a nobody.
This is the sad value testimony of human value in our crapitalist society. Nothing is usually popular in the way it was in ancient Athens.. back when intellectual values, philosophy of ideas and metaphysics were valuable of their own accord and merely for the fact of having mused upon them and nursed them into schools of thought. Now even that value is worthless unless it’s ready to pay the piper. I wonder how much money Facebook wastes not investing in these ideas. But I guess every time a toilet flushes at Walmart a tax deduction angel gets its wings!
So I’m settling in to a more long lasting version of my hermitage but I would be lying if I said that my depression has been totally at bay.
And yet still I’m doing something that some in the medicine/ science only crowd might think muddies the waters into dangerous hippy sentimentalist territory. I’m taking alot of walks in nature, exercising, taking my cbd, eating better, avoiding excessive alcohol or cussing at puppies and of course writing my blog as one part of my weekly healing process.
And you know what .. it helps; because sometimes even after a good helping of protein rich organic peanut butter pancakes.. on a rainy day, when your mind is racing and the sleep disorder demons have clocked out, they need someone to pick up a shift and of course the depression demons are ready and rearing to go. Even so when I write it out it has been transmitted from the realm of thoughts to the realm of words and in my subjective pseudoscientific opinion it seems to help.
I always knew I was an ‘ideas person’. I was always desperate to be stuck in a college academia library studying theology, philosophy, science, physics, social theory (EVERYTHING)!
I have always been mad that whatever secret branch of the government that hires for think tanks hasn’t broke their silence and reached out to me yet. But patience is a virtue after all! Le-sigh.
Re-sign. That’s my miraculous auto predict shake out of writers block! And that’s precisely what I’m getting to now.
The first step to embracing and truly enjoying solitude is getting past the loneliness and just because I’m married doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely when it’s just me and my daughter during the day. Yes.. even with my daughter there I get lonely sometimes and that’s ok even if her just being there really really helps!
You see loneliness is no respecter of persons. And yet perhaps its more helpful and comfortable to be all St. Francis like and call her Sister Loneliness.
Loneliness is like engaging a Jericho wall and sometimes you just got to blast a trumpet in your heart and shake yourself up a little to get past the false barriers it suggests and remember somehow, right now, life is still being lived.
You also must be humble if your’e more the type to be desirous of the hermit lifestyle because whether Pentupium Introvert 5.0 or not you just have to face the music that people aren’t always terrible and in many ways many of them are much better than you… and that’s ok! After all you have your own strengths and weaknesses too!
Most saints probably don’t mantra on that word too much or at the least they think it means something different than most people think it means.
So also a healthy hermit has to be humble and it is as intriguingly intricate as this idiomatic tongue twister.
The healthy hermit is the balance of ones needs and “the Others” needs.. whichever other or Other that may be.
Healthy solitude is a gift for a heart that is healing. It is the opposite of the crusted bitterness of undealt with trauma. The deep irony for he, she or they that seek solitude is this.. one can only seek solitude well as they find a supporting cast.
You never realise how important it is to get where your’e trying to go when the train is gone and yet sometimes that is a false despair.
I listened to a Ted talk once about Procrastination once. It is common that procrastination is for many people a sign of mere laziness or a sign that they are just throwing in the towel. For others like the gentleman in the talk it was a ‘cogitational’ style.
Imagine farmer Brown says to the cow he would like him to help him plow the field and the cow whilst chewing grass said “Let me chew it over!” To which farmer Brown says “I don’t got all day!”
It’s in a nutshell a humorous way to see how the world sees the tortoise vs the haire (or for sake of our example farmer Brown and the cogitating cow). They say “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” and yet they blithely apply that to their stated cogitational norms as they appear on the outside and rarely apply this to what’s going on upstairs in different cogitational persons.
To be fair I’m not advocating for procrastination per se. I’m just saying in some situations it writes better books.
A wisdom nugget hit my ears one time. I don’t remember if from another author or from my self so anonymously “The rust of time tempers wisdom.” Sometimes the only thing that can stop that writer’s block or finalize that concierto is some good old life experiences. But how else can that crucible be lit that flames the gold of human invention other than the gold of human invention surviving the fires of human experience?
With all your might do your best to focus! Try, try, try but never be ashamed to rely, rely, rely.
Sometimes the old saying “wax on, wax off.” is very pertinent to us humans. We are far too sure we have the tools necessary to neatly categorize and forcibly guarantee that life follows only the path we desire.
For this I think pathological procrastinators should show themselves grace. Perhaps your’e only going to find out how to overcome your procrastination when you find out you need to accept it and for your inner Sherlock to investigate what it is trying to do in you… and around you.
Perhaps you might find the gears have been turning much faster than anyone could imagine but ‘internally’. The grease is good in you but the outer appreciation has little grease. Results do matter..but maybe you visualize better results than others.
To give you peace I have reconstructed the Serenity Prayer for procrastinators.
G-d give me the Serenity to accept the things I haven’t done yet.
Courage and power to do the things I can.
And the wisdom, trusting your timing, to know the difference.
There is something G-d-like about looking at time as something to organize like other things. Time is valuable and in a way ephemeral. Coming, going and overall a participation in a sacred cosmological dance of creation.
Through time we live and move and yet it is a transcendent act not always to try to extrude every amount of oil for the moment for one particular obsession. It’s not because our worldly pursuits are vain of themselves but rather because they are temporary and many of them are farcically positioned on the latter of importance due to skewed value systems.
There is a holy procrastination that treats certain goals like the squirrel treats the acorn. “Save it for another time. “
To learn to do this with grace is a divine way to gain more balance in life.
In the wake of the hideous, evil and racially motivated shootings of Asian women that we have all seen in the news these past weeks I have an important message not about sex addiction and not solely about the primary issue here of racism (both important and necessary subjects to discuss but nonetheless) I am here to write about toxic masculinity vs true masculinity.
As my sources are eclectic and draw from many sources per usual I would like to talk about how the sexist and insecurity based instincts of toxic masculinity are opposed to genuine masculinity from a variety of sources both sacred and secular, how they feed into sexual neuroses and how they even feed into racism throughout history.
Toxic masculinity is proof in the pudding for where St. Peter in the Bible warned that certain passages of Paul the unstable of mind could contort, wrend and distort to their own destruction.
How many times in a tragic southern gothic did the abusive alcoholic husband demand unflinching loyalty from his wife out of the piecemeal interpretation of “Wives submit yourselves unto your husband. ” and entirely did that character also ‘ignore’ “Husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the Church giving Himself up for her. “?
How many times in history did we hear of the southern plantation owner who was already treating humans like cattle also treating the women as his objects of sexual gratification as well?
People like to try and neatly separate different qualities of moral/ ethical or phenomenological experience as if all causality is referential and scientific. There may be reason for deep thinking about this but existentially one must learn to discern the difference of good will and corrupted or bad will.
To explain I might say it simply. I believe the shootings were racially motivated that happened recently.
However some opposite my opinion might object that the person “was not right in the head”, “sexually addicted” and “deranged”.
Ok well I’d respond that I think every person who is racist IS deranged but I don’t think everyone who mentally has difficulties or perhaps even who struggles with ‘sexual compulsive behavior disorder’ is of a necessity a bad person or even deranged for that matter. Many people of good will fight imbalanced and excessive sexual urges and impulses or negative thought patterns without murdering people or sexually harassing others..the difference shouldn’t be too hard to highlight.
Where are you going on with this sir?
~To the roots.~
In my opinion racism and even much of the problems of sexual addiction can be traced to wounded or toxic masculinity.
The stigma towards those struggling with mental illness or merely experiencing non neurotypical wiring is already too overkill. In the experience of many kind nonneurotypical people the excuse of insanity is used far too many times by someone who shot a bunch of innocent people while the usual person with mental struggles is struggling with decision making, sensory issues and inhibitions to executive function in the negative or obsessively applying their mind to a project, special skill, radically excessive moralization or special interest in the positive. The average neurodiverse person or the person with mental illnesses is usually actually a person with ‘exacting’ fortitude of moral will. That is why so many of us don’t easily buy it when someone with much premeditation uses their will to breathe terror upon the innocent.
Racism is often a generational curse. It’s passed down through effigies, epithets, tits for tats, nic nacs, this and thats ‘and all that’s and I’ve rarely seen racism come without toxic masculinity.
What could be more toxic than seeing your ethnic conception of being a man as the absolute center in a universe/ potential multiverse so vast? David the Jewish king and prophet said it well “What is man that you think of him or the Son of Man that you pay him mind?” and continuing on paying homage to the Hebraic conception of angelic beings he states that man ‘one of whom he is’ is a little lower than they.
So here is David, extremely imperfect man that he is who had indeed also participated in intertribal wars and adultery and who handed more hides to the men that owned them than Gaston.. and yet even he at the depths when confronted with a holy G-d realizes that he is not all that matters. Far from it David the sexual deviant, patriarch and saint realises a truth that not only desecrates the mores of tribe central religious nationalism but even attacks man’s inherent speciestic religious bias.
Respect, for those who tread litely in this life so subsists in treating the other as a messenger of God and even perhaps other creatures like Balaams donkey or even as much as to be healed by a serpent on a pole.
How much more must we then intrepidly, as if we were communicating with ultra powerful spiritual beings be reverent and still in the presence of other humans of the many beautiful and varied ethnicities and cultures!?
And yet still many go astray. They ignore that the scriptures were written for our instruction so that we may not sin like our fathers did.
And of course many, falsely construing respect for their fathers as ignoring their fathers sin have decided not to shake that which underpins toxic streams in life which perhaps Source, ergo G-d would be willing to shake. Wrongly covering others sins often is equivalent to hiding a spiritual cancer diagnosis.
Jesus my Hebrew messiah as I believe Him to be was admittedly anti racist and I would definitely say He came to destroy toxic masculinity at its depths.
In Christ we see a tender father son relationship.. one that many men only crave and think is untenable if not contradictory to the faux masculinity hazing they received from their fathers
In Christ the celibate male preacher, Prophet and Teacher we see one so solidly rooted in his identity and intimacy with His Father that he was intellectually, emotionally and sensitively fulfilled, satiated and centered in righteous masculinity as opposed to toxic masculinity.
In my life the pandemic turning me into a full time stay at home dad has felt like putting me on the frontlines in the war on toxic masculinity. Though the stigma of being the stay at home dad is lessening compared to 8 to 10 years ago it still exists and many men are made to feel less than masculine because they are not the ordinary bread winner or because they embody qualities that traditional mysogony see as feminine estate (kindness, compassion, child rearing and teaching etc). I would be lying if my personal encounter/ battle with the subliminal messages of the surrounding culture of said toxic masculinity has never been mentally draining. It takes a lot of security to be secure in your self and having your security based in Christ like virtues of mercy and compassion rather than might makes right and subsequent rejoicing in social darwinism.
During this Lenten season whether you are Christian or not or even perhaps a secular minded person, please join in with me in eschewing evil paths that toxic masculinity plows. It is not the path to the cultivation of manhood! It is not the sacred initiatory rites which our souls rightfully crave! Toxic masculinity is a vicious cycle that supports racism, objectification of women and others in general. If we want to truly make a better world as men we need to stake our masculinity in the Christ like virtues of compassion and mercy and listen to the words of Mary and ” Do whatever He tells you.”
Sometimes it takes an inspiring Facebook post to springboard my own Blog post writers block out of commision that unavoidably I will have to post onto my own blog.
I saw a post contrasting the differences between neurotypical communication and ~I’ll just call us~ “Spectrumites!”
It described the difference been an autistics sharing of literal statements (and taking thereof) and the neurotypical tendency to analyze all of this through metadata to which us Spectrumites are not usually privvy.
I would like to mention that though at the age of 32 I went to an autism center for children and was tested and was not then afforded a diagnosis of ASD.. I did however come out with a diagnosis of STPD and only ‘further questions’.
Though I do plan on eventually getting another (and more in depth) testing done at a facility that specializes in late diagnoses of adults, after 2 years of grueling thoughts on the matter I have essentially comfortably settled into autistic self identification.
Some might say “What’s the point?” but for me it is a lifestyle medication that ‘does the magic’ even though I don’t necessarily disagree with the diagnosis traits given in the ‘positive’ but only what I feel was overlooked.
I know many who are quite sure that they are on the spectrum. Some eventually get a diagnosis from a professional. Others forego that route and self identify perpetually. I’m sort of in the middle myself. However here is what I said in response to the Facebook post as my personal commentary.. but likewise one out of a myriad things that makes sense of my experiences of existing as me. But first an awkward picture..
“Even though I am left in the arena of “self identification” in this subject.. this is a good description of one of my primary communication issues. Though I will say it makes me good at puns and good as a helper because of hyperliteralism.
As a strength on the other hand it also makes me pretty good at steamrolling through opposition on a pioneering path because I can see templates and figurative blueprints, ‘as it were’ almost like the casting process for a theatrical production and take action for results without immediate respect to risks or without considering the obstacles ahead of time.
However as I have grown up and faced various obstacles the obstacles themselves became invariably like bosses in a video game and semirobotically by instinctual irascible desire for serotonin and for the fulfillment of a hypothesis I banged my head into mushy ‘virtually digital walls’ until I defeated them.
I acted like a consultant and a hole filler because I realised boats sink not always starting with big holes but by a few small or very many smaller holes. This also effects communication. I’m good at telling jokes all day. I am terrible at receiving them unless we already share a very similar sense of humor, another commodity that my version thereof doesn’t always normally have a match.
This is actually good. I have had to use things that I enjoy to help me enjoy things I don’t. I have had to use acting (perhaps a more fun manner of ‘masking’ per se) to enter into some of the results world of the everyday world..
a world that teaches and takes incessantly for granted that results happen and that’s all there is to it.
One time in Italy on a mission trip a homeless man told me “You think too much. “. At the time I took it as some life thwarting, esoteric entrapment of an omen.
Now I just realise that it is a harmless reality of my being and existence. It is not a curse. It is a blessing with challenges though.
Computers do think too much.. that’s what they do. I’m not afraid of that and by mercy I too believe I might be grasped by the Mind of Christ.”
I hope you can be inspired to be the captain of your ship as God is also teaching me. Take Care, The Picture Frame Conversationalist.
In 2020 those days seem even more prevalent. It’s pretty ironic when you feel so dry you want to throw in the towel and all the while in this desert whetting ones appetite for one’s passions seems like a misnomer..as if doing what you were seemingly created to do is a mistake.
Of course to a mind on the mend such negativity seems pointless; such musings seem fruitless. But hear me out in my musings on executive dysfunction. When you have expended yourself in so many directions and you know you have skills but the outlets haven’t listened.. what IS one to think?
Your’e just a plug and they’re just an outlet and the frustration of what is seemingly made for the other is when ‘it is’ according to external appearances of design but not by internal technicalities or by full undertakings to comprehend such an investments stability.
There are those systems one chooses that seems like a fit and then there is that system that even when seeming on the brink of failure shows it’s strength in the storm.
The system that wins and that appreciates you is by wisdom and apparent providential matchmaking ‘that which is attenuated to you even when it seems about to fail. “
It is a system that sees the you fallen and in vulnerability and realizes in you ‘the you of hidden strength’.
There it holds up the mirror revealing your liberty. Freedom is a hard task to navigate in this world. It is a hard thing to learn to find and yet the wise intuitions upon which freedom is found is easily accessible. It just only can be accessed by the peaceful and calm confidence of ‘the mind of a child. ‘.
If 2020(all flowery philosophical and faith based sentimentality put aside)..
was an easy year for you then you might be a masochist or if you were not at all stretched by this year you might just already be perfect.
This is not to say one is a masochist if one has legitimately experienced new life blessings this year (We received our first baby girl into the world this year).
It is also not to say that faith based sentimentality is not often anchored in solid reasoning beyond mere emotion and thus… ‘a wash’.
What it does boil down to is a confession that the ‘perfect man’ sleeps through the storm and the imperfect man cries out in terror “Lord, we perish!”
There is a type of restful contented waiting that weighs heavier than any storm. They say that the “little ones” have the kingdom of God and I believe I have proof. This year I got to witness that contentment and peace first hand or rather ‘hand in hand’.
I named my daughter Eliza to be a female version of Elijah the prophet.
Well in her first year of life not only has she gone through the Coronavirus Pandemic and global economic upheaval but as of recent time, here on the Alabama, Gulf Coast she has gone through hurricane Sally (The most contrivedly and ill undermeasured Cat3 I’ve ever been through in my opinion).
Interestingly enough my wife and mother in law who are both from Venezuela had never been through a hurricane so while we sheltered at my parents home I had plenty of snuggles with my wife that easily matched that of a couple watching a horror film. My wife was a little spooked by the whole ordeal obviously.
Now on the other hand our daughter Eliza was definitely a little preacher by her actions. She like Elijah lived through the whirlwind and like Jesus slept through the storm! Thats right she slept through ALL of the worst hours of the storm where all the damage happened!
I know this amazed my wife but it personally deeply inspired me. Our little prophet weathered and slept through the storm and all throughout this year has never ceased to be the little chonk of joy she was.
So for the title of this blog post I want to explain it a little more because it was another little precious way my daughter deeply inspired me just by being her and that was by one of my favorite little encounters with her.
In the age of smart phones alot of us become dummies from time to time. I think my baby intuitively knows this and she returns my wife and I back to the human. Yes sometimes in the hodrum of everyday life and exhaustion even we can veg out on our phone. My baby on the other hand as a fresh human straight out of the oven won’t have it! If we are on a phone in her presence she will protest..she will return us to the now. The most precious example of that is if I am feeding her with bottle and putting her to sleep. If I have a phone she will get frustrated.
Just like God my baby innocently and purely demands my total attention.
When I feed her it’s all or nothing. It’s daddy and daughter time. It’s ‘contigo’. But the funny thing is though she demands that I look right at her little face and just be present with her she also demands that she can play with my hand while I feed her. She wants to hold my hand but she doesn’t always do so with consistency.
Sometimes she has a death grip and other times I feel like a goldfish is slapping me! But I have learned a very deep 2020 lesson from this encounter of love and relationship with our precious daughter. In these moments of connection and relationship building I have learned something splendidly transcendant!
I have learned that sometimes we might be inclined to impugn guilt on God for seemingly sleeping through our often stormy lives. I have learned it is easy to be jealous of those for whom storms seem to not shake their easy restfulness of spirit but with a shift of perspective one can be inspired by it! I have learned that God demands our attention with crystaline and 2020 vision (hindsight is 2020 and all that..) and I have learned that it is the connection that matters the most and that it is better to hold God’s hand even if like a little child He ‘holds our hand badly.’
(James Dillon Broxson born and raised in Alabama likes dark bold letters because why not? But seriously they really are much better right?! James is a father of one beautiful baby girl named Eliza born in 2020 and married to an amazing lady from Venezuela named Carolina.)
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