We live in a day and age with many different opinions and in a time where people don’t know what live and let live means.
Some might say it is because we have surrendered too much of our self government to the governing powers.
The Project Vehicle.
Others would say it begs the question the idea that the government would not ‘enshrine our values’.
For people like me the poles of secular and religious nationalism express perfectly why I don’t consider myself having reached my country. My kingdom ‘is’ not of this world.
There is a belonging without violence.
There is a city without nationalism.
There is an inclusivity with open diversity.
There is identity with cosmically aligned individuality.
There is a post post modernism that progresses and doesn’t destroy all ancient values.
The apex we stand on like a spinning globe is the interrelation of movement that is fixed and chaotic.
The social architects of the world may be called ‘they’ by some but to cool headed non conspiracists who are not afraid of the mechanics of the worlds infrastructure we merely call it a project vehicle.
Imagine deep within your soul you want to give gifts to the world..but then life happens and you get tired.
Imagine having the passion of a Content Creator but not knowing how to put your thoughts into words.
What am I protecting? Is this modesty.. its own form of honesty?
In order to be a popular platform poster you need to “post every day” or at least a few times a week.
Ah
That might not work then.
Where is the passion I’m looking for? Where is the spirituality I once had or the zeal for living life as if this life is a rare commodity?
How do I take life for granted so much? How do I lounge in carefree boredom narcolepsy or not? Am I pregaming my midlife crises, getting ready for it, double fisting it?
Seems like a me thing to schedule such a thing rather than to be surprised by it.
Well why on earth am I surprised that there’s no element of surprise when I feel like I already know what the book of my life is about..like God and I deliberated and threw the book at me?
Sometimes I feel like I have some crystal ball or a blueprint to my life in my subconscious mind. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want the left hand to know what the right hand is doing. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of watching my movie from the outside.
Life and the enjoyment of life seems rather to be that the eyes and the ears and the nose would hear, see and smell what is here or at least whatever senses we have available to us. So strange that even Spiritual Doctors have remarked on sense “All knowledge comes through the senses.” Good job St. Thomas Aquinas for being like the Doubting apostle in your search for faith. I feel that heartily.
So there is that darkness in the soul of understanding (nous) to wit my life gives reference that I keep remembering that I don’t know and I do know. Part of me know my spirit though living in my body and not separate has separate agencies, faculties and ‘abilities’. I find it hard to be a gnostic because I’m an earthen vessel and yet though trying not to be “too heavenly minded to be of any earthly good” I find myself trapped between worlds, like a ghost with a preternatural stain on the ink blot tests of the collective unconscious of this age.
In my heart I watch kingdoms rise and fall revolutions turn and the sun set many a year. The ages of time acquiesce to an Apocalyptic dance that never seems to end. All of this is beautiful and is a verdict to my and the worlds mortality. I hope that I can learn lessons of this knowing that “the spirit gives life and the flesh is of no avail.” so that perhaps life can come to my dry bones again.
I heard it once said that if I am a Christian I ought to be like a lemon and when life truly squeezes me only Jesus should come out.
I guess I’m glad I don’t believe God’s acceptance of me is only relegated to my performance because sometimes I have been a real dunce! Good parents run to their children when they cry and often times it is when a child feels they have sucked the most that they are most in need of their parents encouragement. My relationship with my Father God resonates with that feeling for sure.
Years ago I started blogging before Justin Timberlake stole them (Myspace).
I wrote my way through and out of some of the biggest challenges of my life.
I also began prayer journaling while in massage therapy school sometime back in 2009 and I still believe that that has been a deep place of healing in my personal life that has helped me collect my thoughts and be the most authentic version of me that I believe I truly am.
Blogging is healthy to me and I believe I should do it too because it is much like journaling but shared with you too!
I even believe I could be good at it!
I’m wanting to take this journey and perhaps even make this the beginning of my writing and more active public content generation campaign.
I have always wanted to solely work online and the 2020 pandemic might be making this an official full time reality and even necessity;
I want to invite readers to express their thoughts in the comment section.
Would you like to hear about my crazy life; a life I’ve attempted to live very well?
I have had many crazy adventures and many deep effective spiritual experiences. On “Musings of A Picture Frame Conversationalist” that is what I am planning to cover… everything from life and love, neuro-divergent self advocacy, music and art, mysticism, work from home tips and tricks, links to some of my own online work and artistic projects and of course just good ole fashioned fun!
P.S. I am considering either starting a Patreon or some other means to gauge interest and raise funds to officially start a fully operational fully monetized blog and to help fund ongoing projects so I can share from the depths uninhibited.
If you would like to support my quest to officially become a full fledged blogger / online nerd entrepreneur I am trying to raise around 4 to 500$ to get my first premium year of WordPress payed off and a few other protools expenses to bring new content on a regular basis.
I don’t know why this has taken so long for me to attempt to do but I feel it is worth it. I have decided Pandemic or not that this 2020 I am going to do my best to grow in personal healing and wholeness and to spread the message of my life, what God’s teaching me in it and to share on all the weird stuff I like.
If you wish to support immediately I will be gifting bandcamp album promo codes personally to anyone who gifts 7$ or more to my paypal at shastat78@gmail.com . If you are making a contribution please let me know in the comments below! Let me know what you think!
Thank you…from the “Picture Frame Coversationalist.”
Musings of a Picture Frame Conversationalist. 