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depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

I’m late but I’m early.

You never realise how important it is to get where your’e trying to go when the train is gone and yet sometimes that is a false despair.

I listened to a Ted talk once about Procrastination once. It is common that procrastination is for many people a sign of mere laziness or a sign that they are just throwing in the towel. For others like the gentleman in the talk it was a ‘cogitational’ style.

Imagine farmer Brown says to the cow he would like him to help him plow the field and the cow whilst chewing grass said “Let me chew it over!” To which farmer Brown says “I don’t got all day!”

It’s in a nutshell a humorous way to see how the world sees the tortoise vs the haire (or for sake of our example farmer Brown and the cogitating cow). They say “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” and yet they blithely apply that to their stated cogitational norms as they appear on the outside and rarely apply this to what’s going on upstairs in different cogitational persons.

To be fair I’m not advocating for procrastination per se. I’m just saying in some situations it writes better books.

A wisdom nugget hit my ears one time. I don’t remember if from another author or from my self so anonymously “The rust of time tempers wisdom.” Sometimes the only thing that can stop that writer’s block or finalize that concierto is some good old life experiences. But how else can that crucible be lit that flames the gold of human invention other than the gold of human invention surviving the fires of human experience?

With all your might do your best to focus! Try, try, try but never be ashamed to rely, rely, rely.

Sometimes the old saying “wax on, wax off.” is very pertinent to us humans. We are far too sure we have the tools necessary to neatly categorize and forcibly guarantee that life follows only the path we desire.

For this I think pathological procrastinators should show themselves grace. Perhaps your’e only going to find out how to overcome your procrastination when you find out you need to accept it and for your inner Sherlock to investigate what it is trying to do in you… and around you.

Perhaps you might find the gears have been turning much faster than anyone could imagine but ‘internally’. The grease is good in you but the outer appreciation has little grease. Results do matter..but maybe you visualize better results than others.

To give you peace I have reconstructed the Serenity Prayer for procrastinators.

G-d give me the Serenity to accept the things I haven’t done yet.

Courage and power to do the things I can.

And the wisdom, trusting your timing, to know the difference.

There is something G-d-like about looking at time as something to organize like other things. Time is valuable and in a way ephemeral. Coming, going and overall a participation in a sacred cosmological dance of creation.

Through time we live and move and yet it is a transcendent act not always to try to extrude every amount of oil for the moment for one particular obsession. It’s not because our worldly pursuits are vain of themselves but rather because they are temporary and many of them are farcically positioned on the latter of importance due to skewed value systems.

There is a holy procrastination that treats certain goals like the squirrel treats the acorn. “Save it for another time. “

To learn to do this with grace is a divine way to gain more balance in life.

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Getting you Trained.

He seemed as a man of vision.

He settled in to the tenderness.

The tenderness was the fragility of reality.

The tension was the tenderness of time.

He sought and he found the answers.

He knocked and the door was opened.

He was weak so he had great strength.

Meek and modest, charismatic and honest.

He knew the evils of hate.

Yet he was loved..

Precisely by those he thought would never love him..

Sometimes a door weakly open is the most widely open door.

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depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion Poetry Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

When God Holds Your Hand Badly.

If 2020 (all flowery philosophical and faith based sentimentality put aside)..

was an easy year for you then you might be a masochist or if you were not at all stretched by this year you might just already be perfect.

This is not to say one is a masochist if one has legitimately experienced new life blessings this year (We received our first baby girl into the world this year).

It is also not to say that faith based sentimentality is not often anchored in solid reasoning beyond mere emotion and thus… ‘a wash’.

What it does boil down to is a confession that the ‘perfect man’ sleeps through the storm and the imperfect man cries out in terror “Lord, we perish!”

There is a type of restful contented waiting that weighs heavier than any storm. They say that the “little ones” have the kingdom of God and I believe I have proof. This year I got to witness that contentment and peace first hand or rather ‘hand in hand’.

I named my daughter Eliza to be a female version of Elijah the prophet.

Well in her first year of life not only has she gone through the Coronavirus Pandemic and global economic upheaval but as of recent time, here on the Alabama, Gulf Coast she has gone through hurricane Sally (The most contrivedly and ill undermeasured Cat3 I’ve ever been through in my opinion).

Interestingly enough my wife and mother in law who are both from Venezuela had never been through a hurricane so while we sheltered at my parents home I had plenty of snuggles with my wife that easily matched that of a couple watching a horror film. My wife was a little spooked by the whole ordeal obviously.

Now on the other hand our daughter Eliza was definitely a little preacher by her actions. She like Elijah lived through the whirlwind and like Jesus slept through the storm! Thats right she slept through ALL of the worst hours of the storm where all the damage happened!

I know this amazed my wife but it personally deeply inspired me. Our little prophet weathered and slept through the storm and all throughout this year has never ceased to be the little chonk of joy she was.

So for the title of this blog post I want to explain it a little more because it was another little precious way my daughter deeply inspired me just by being her and that was by one of my favorite little encounters with her.

In the age of smart phones alot of us become dummies from time to time. I think my baby intuitively knows this and she returns my wife and I back to the human. Yes sometimes in the hodrum of everyday life and exhaustion even we can veg out on our phone. My baby on the other hand as a fresh human straight out of the oven won’t have it! If we are on a phone in her presence she will protest..she will return us to the now. The most precious example of that is if I am feeding her with bottle and putting her to sleep. If I have a phone she will get frustrated.

Just like God my baby innocently and purely demands my total attention.

When I feed her it’s all or nothing. It’s daddy and daughter time. It’s ‘contigo’. But the funny thing is though she demands that I look right at her little face and just be present with her she also demands that she can play with my hand while I feed her. She wants to hold my hand but she doesn’t always do so with consistency.

Sometimes she has a death grip and other times I feel like a goldfish is slapping me! But I have learned a very deep 2020 lesson from this encounter of love and relationship with our precious daughter. In these moments of connection and relationship building I have learned something splendidly transcendant!

I have learned that sometimes we might be inclined to impugn guilt on God for seemingly sleeping through our often stormy lives. I have learned it is easy to be jealous of those for whom storms seem to not shake their easy restfulness of spirit but with a shift of perspective one can be inspired by it! I have learned that God demands our attention with crystaline and 2020 vision (hindsight is 2020 and all that..) and I have learned that it is the connection that matters the most and that it is better to hold God’s hand even if like a little child He ‘holds our hand badly.’

(James Dillon Broxson born and raised in Alabama likes dark bold letters because why not? But seriously they really are much better right?! James is a father of one beautiful baby girl named Eliza born in 2020 and married to an amazing lady from Venezuela named Carolina.)

dillon-2

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