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MOTIVATION AND TRIALS.

We all have days where we want to give up.

In 2020 those days seem even more prevalent. It’s pretty ironic when you feel so dry you want to throw in the towel and all the while in this desert whetting ones appetite for one’s passions seems like a misnomer..as if doing what you were seemingly created to do is a mistake.

Of course to a mind on the mend such negativity seems pointless; such musings seem fruitless. But hear me out in my musings on executive dysfunction. When you have expended yourself in so many directions and you know you have skills but the outlets haven’t listened.. what IS one to think?

Your’e just a plug and they’re just an outlet and the frustration of what is seemingly made for the other is when ‘it is’ according to external appearances of design but not by internal technicalities or by full undertakings to comprehend such an investments stability.

There are those systems one chooses that seems like a fit and then there is that system that even when seeming on the brink of failure shows it’s strength in the storm.

The system that wins and that appreciates you is by wisdom and apparent providential matchmaking ‘that which is attenuated to you even when it seems about to fail. “

It is a system that sees the you fallen and in vulnerability and realizes in you ‘the you of hidden strength’.

There it holds up the mirror revealing your liberty. Freedom is a hard task to navigate in this world. It is a hard thing to learn to find and yet the wise intuitions upon which freedom is found is easily accessible. It just only can be accessed by the peaceful and calm confidence of ‘the mind of a child. ‘.

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The People we Might Be.

 

I find it important to never quit learning. I often like to imagine the future and to imagine becoming proficient in a skill not generally associated with my public persona.

One such imagining is that of becoming a scientist.

I could see myself pouring obsessively, lost musing over medical mysteries and biological quandaries as my mind often obsessively does.

I could see myself as a mathematician pouring over formulae as if they were nature’s immutable song, an indivisible unifier to inherent non-divisible truths.

As a long time musician I have often dreamt of being a classical composer, of sharpening the higher faculties of my mind with the beautiful truth of song, expressing mathematical facts through the medium of tangible felt beauty.

Sometimes I imagine being a lawyer, an advocate, a public defender..knowing the law well so as to subvert it’s misuse by evil people in high places eager to destroy others life for a buck.
I imagine protecting the innocent against those who would use the law against ‘they’ who are innocently unknowing of their schemes and to condemn those falsely accused with unfair and unjust punishments.
I often imagine saving people through diligent study and erudition.

Sometimes I wonder about these things because I am sure that vocation isn’t the full description of who I am and yet I can’t help but think these desires of my soul describe some ineffable inner truth about myself.

What are some things you’ve dreamed about your life?

 

 

 

 

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depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion Poetry Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living.

I’m not my Covid Dreams.

Paranoia, False-Evidence-Appearing-Real.

I’m definitely the hidden lesson good man.

I’m not my Covid Dreams.

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Trickle down Gecko-nomics.

I don’t know about you but do you ever have a moment where you experience your individual nature in such a way where you are shocked by how much life shapes you and how much society becomes a stage? 

If so there is however an irony because with great autonomy comes great responsibility. Great autonomy is great power and this is why poor community college philosophy teachers are often actually happy.. and even some theologians. Existential autonomy is the power to know one is a weak cog in a wheel and not to fear it. This seems like a ‘privilege’ and in some ways is but in other ways it can be a cross or even a burden. The channeling agencies of the gifted gecko or chameleon are succinct even if he adorns a wall like a flower. He sees more than others from the wall and gathers colors, even while quiet, he hears things. Pay attention to the geckos and it will pay off. They will show you your true colors. The transaction is called Gecko-nomics. 

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