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depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion Poetry Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

When God Holds Your Hand Badly.

If 2020 (all flowery philosophical and faith based sentimentality put aside)..

was an easy year for you then you might be a masochist or if you were not at all stretched by this year you might just already be perfect.

This is not to say one is a masochist if one has legitimately experienced new life blessings this year (We received our first baby girl into the world this year).

It is also not to say that faith based sentimentality is not often anchored in solid reasoning beyond mere emotion and thus… ‘a wash’.

What it does boil down to is a confession that the ‘perfect man’ sleeps through the storm and the imperfect man cries out in terror “Lord, we perish!”

There is a type of restful contented waiting that weighs heavier than any storm. They say that the “little ones” have the kingdom of God and I believe I have proof. This year I got to witness that contentment and peace first hand or rather ‘hand in hand’.

I named my daughter Eliza to be a female version of Elijah the prophet.

Well in her first year of life not only has she gone through the Coronavirus Pandemic and global economic upheaval but as of recent time, here on the Alabama, Gulf Coast she has gone through hurricane Sally (The most contrivedly and ill undermeasured Cat3 I’ve ever been through in my opinion).

Interestingly enough my wife and mother in law who are both from Venezuela had never been through a hurricane so while we sheltered at my parents home I had plenty of snuggles with my wife that easily matched that of a couple watching a horror film. My wife was a little spooked by the whole ordeal obviously.

Now on the other hand our daughter Eliza was definitely a little preacher by her actions. She like Elijah lived through the whirlwind and like Jesus slept through the storm! Thats right she slept through ALL of the worst hours of the storm where all the damage happened!

I know this amazed my wife but it personally deeply inspired me. Our little prophet weathered and slept through the storm and all throughout this year has never ceased to be the little chonk of joy she was.

So for the title of this blog post I want to explain it a little more because it was another little precious way my daughter deeply inspired me just by being her and that was by one of my favorite little encounters with her.

In the age of smart phones alot of us become dummies from time to time. I think my baby intuitively knows this and she returns my wife and I back to the human. Yes sometimes in the hodrum of everyday life and exhaustion even we can veg out on our phone. My baby on the other hand as a fresh human straight out of the oven won’t have it! If we are on a phone in her presence she will protest..she will return us to the now. The most precious example of that is if I am feeding her with bottle and putting her to sleep. If I have a phone she will get frustrated.

Just like God my baby innocently and purely demands my total attention.

When I feed her it’s all or nothing. It’s daddy and daughter time. It’s ‘contigo’. But the funny thing is though she demands that I look right at her little face and just be present with her she also demands that she can play with my hand while I feed her. She wants to hold my hand but she doesn’t always do so with consistency.

Sometimes she has a death grip and other times I feel like a goldfish is slapping me! But I have learned a very deep 2020 lesson from this encounter of love and relationship with our precious daughter. In these moments of connection and relationship building I have learned something splendidly transcendant!

I have learned that sometimes we might be inclined to impugn guilt on God for seemingly sleeping through our often stormy lives. I have learned it is easy to be jealous of those for whom storms seem to not shake their easy restfulness of spirit but with a shift of perspective one can be inspired by it! I have learned that God demands our attention with crystaline and 2020 vision (hindsight is 2020 and all that..) and I have learned that it is the connection that matters the most and that it is better to hold God’s hand even if like a little child He ‘holds our hand badly.’

(James Dillon Broxson born and raised in Alabama likes dark bold letters because why not? But seriously they really are much better right?! James is a father of one beautiful baby girl named Eliza born in 2020 and married to an amazing lady from Venezuela named Carolina.)

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Cooking and Recipes. Uncategorized

Crook Neck Squash Blossom Fritters! Yum.

In this short video below I show you how I made my Crook Neck Squash Blossom Fritters.

So my wife and mother in law made ham and cheese cachitoes (little bread) from scratch and these can be made to suit whatever dietary preference is preferred.

I didn’t document the directions for those but if enough people ask I surely will pick mi suegra and mi esposa’s brain.

Now in this video I give you the run down on how to make my crook neck squash blossom fritters. Arguably this would work with any squash blossoms and if you are vegan any normal egg subsititute used in baking or frying should do the trick.

For the fritters, putting your blossoms in a bowl add:

One egg or egg substitute for binding.

Himalayan fresh ground sea salt is preferred.

Fresh ground black Peppercorn pepper.

Mozzarella or vegan mozz substitute. (I recommend Daiya)

Gluten free Pillsbury flour or whatever flour you wish. (the gluten free worked perfect for this).

Mix all together.

Put a little of the mozz into the pan saved apart from what was mixed in straight into the bowl. Let that crisp up a little bit. Then add your coated squash blossoms. Let that crisp up as well and then add some more mozz on top.

The goal while tossing in the pan is to make sure the mozz crisps up like a mozzarella pan fried chip.

The textural experience ends up one of lite, fluffy battered squash blossoms with a nice crunch. It’s like a delicate squashy mcnugget! XD

I served mine over a bed of spring mix greens along with wild harvested garden chickweed and some heirloom orange grape tomoatoes from the garden.

Original photo by me James Dillon Broxson. For enquiries message shastat78@gmail.com

Because I love Cholulas it made a perfect dipper for my squash blossoms. Of course I topped it all off with my (saved from lockdown kumquats) Kumquat Honey Greek Yogurt Smoothie. (Will provide recipe if asked.) I’m melting remembering this meal.

So there you have it folks. If you enjoyed this article and after watching the video give me a like and subscribe. I will greatly appreciate it.

Thanks Again for joining me for Cookin With the Captain!

Original video by me James Dillon Broxson. For enquiries message shastat78@gmail.com

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I love what I do and I do what I love but for Cookin with the Captain the Captains still gotta put food on the table. If you like what you see feel free to give a like and a subscribe but also remember that for 12$ a year ( 1$ a month) you can be enrolled as a premium subscriber and have first access to previews of my content whether comics, art, books music or merch as well as half off any of my releases. For a one time donation I offer a bandcamp music download of my music as a thank you.

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Finding your Supporting Cast.

Around ten years ago or so I was going through my own “Love Supreme” conversion.

I had touched a darkness in my life that I didn’t know I could touch and I contacted a vital life inside of myself that I didn’t know I could contact.

Contrast. Light and Dark. The Logos that fills all things.

And yes I was truly jiving to some Coltrane as was I also giving Christ control again through the subtle and perhaps unwitting spiritual leadership of the mixtapes of my good friend Jonni Greth.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Having a taste for the Avant Garde, Jonni being raised in a very EVANGELICAL background had embraced Christ deeply but almost seemingly in spite of the spiritual milieu and atmosphere about himself. This I always respected and even if he didn’t know it it often made me receive helpful wisdom from him almost as if he were some closed off Jedi hermit.. Which for a hermitic like soul like mine made for an attractive candidate.

If that had not been enough he also had the gifting to express those life experiences of the ‘solitudinal’ heart through song.

Even hermits extrovert sometimes.

Photo by W W on Pexels.com

Jonni Greth introduced me to Daniel Johnston and copious amounts of outsider art and music, the depth in the like which I was clearly hungry for and yet through all of this our friendship showed me a sense of desire to nurture the artist in me, something I often felt very few people in the world tried to nurture.

But in the years around 2009 existential miracles happened in my life. Some precipitated by a life fallen away from my faith at the time, being caught up with by youthful indecisions and the untimely wreckedness of far too much imbibing (of various substance); the God of my youth began to become something and better yet someone to me again.. the presence of an old long lost friend.

Somewhere between breakups with people I didn’t honestly date but merely had deep emo college infatuations with and the sentiment that some sort of Aspergian colored cloud contrasting between genius possibilities and social catastrophes was my plight, I would finally, somehow, gain a notch in my proverbial life belt.

All of my fellow musician friends knew me as ‘that dude who would probably never get ahead or make anything worthwhile happen with music’ but slowly, somehow, like the slow tick of the oil drip leaving my white Chevrolet Astro van dry, a dry artist through experience and near caveman from primordial goo level emerging, I came seemingly out of nothing into existence for the first time.

“I had a panic attack in psychology class but with the guitar on my back no confidence lacked.” (Excerpt from a song I’m working on.)

But indeed it was true. One day a college infatuation of mine, whom I had been sitting behind in psychology class on the first day of class, having a panic attack when the teacher merely called for me to introduce myself, would be the girl I got the confidence to sing my song I wrote for her in the parking lot there at Pensacola Community College (as they used to call it).

She said “How is it that you have panic attacks to introduce yourself but behind a guitar your so confident?!”

A song Hosea was born. Next was Bay Leaves. Next “crap!”.. one day in my inner battle to remain atheist I had my secular humanism lead me back to Jesus (we’ll save that one for another blog. Hyperlink will be updated!)

Then another day walking through the mall like an anthropologist studying people and buying nothing as I often did, I walked into a Ross Dress for Less and stumbled upon a fortune cookie paper that read as follows…

“You will make a name for yourself in the field of entertainment.”

Things slowly got weird. My car almost broke drown one day on the way to a fund raiser for a Church Hippy Coffee Shop known as the Ole Mug at the Genesis barn in Foley, Alabama but I was all out of money “bless my heart!”

So I stopped by a Tom Thumb right down the road from ‘Flora Bama Bar and Grill’ remembering my guitar in the back of my on-e Chevy Astro Van that was sitting in the seat of my road side salvaged, leather lazy boy for easy back seat sleeping (if I so desired) and with a glint of proverbial providence and road magic went inside and made my pitch to the manager.

I said “sir I am out of gas and I have no money but I have a guitar in the back of my van and I would be more than willing to buy gas if I made some money out on the curb.”

Finding this a different kind of request and looking somewhat amused he accepted my request. I played my heart out in the middle of that summer day and by the end of an hour or so I made 35$! I bought some gas and got at least half a tank and saved the rest for Taco Bell and some as a momento. The fund raiser was over by the time I got to Foley {Isn’t it Ironic}.

The one time event turned into my semi regular gigs on the Gas Station circuit round playing at any gas station or public place I could until one day I thought I might take a chance..again.

I walked into the City Grille in Gulf Shores, Alabama that was newly opened and asked if they ever had live music. They said that they had been looking into doing it but had not booked anyone yet and then asked me if I would like to be one of their first. I WAS IN!

My job was music! One gig turned to 2 turned to I’m playing all week and I was finally good at something..something before that among my friends I was the worst at. Friends had moved away to different parts of the country but even as far as Salt Lake City Utah the word was out that Dillon was writing music and somehow it didn’t suck! What a novel thought!

As time would go by (around 11 years or so now) I have seen my song writers hermit syndrome go way way deep.

That first year and a half or so on the Gulf Coast and I was quickly finding myself drained.

Notwithstanding the facts of my lifelong undiagnosed sleep disorders and other maladies of which I only knew so much.

I was an originals artist in a world ruled by cover singers and it mystified folks how I even got out there as an originals artist ‘gettin gigs’

in the first place.

Though my song writing instincts are deep and most definitely instinctual and though my songwriters hermit syndrome is even deeper I could only say succinctly that I never could have begun getting out there without ‘finding my supporting cast’.

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James Dillon broxson is an artist, musician and content creator. He is married to his wonderful wife Carolina originally from Venezuela and has a beautiful baby girl with her named Eliza. For enquiries email shastat78@gmail.com

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Poetry Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

The People we Might Be.

 

I find it important to never quit learning. I often like to imagine the future and to imagine becoming proficient in a skill not generally associated with my public persona.

One such imagining is that of becoming a scientist.

I could see myself pouring obsessively, lost musing over medical mysteries and biological quandaries as my mind often obsessively does.

I could see myself as a mathematician pouring over formulae as if they were nature’s immutable song, an indivisible unifier to inherent non-divisible truths.

As a long time musician I have often dreamt of being a classical composer, of sharpening the higher faculties of my mind with the beautiful truth of song, expressing mathematical facts through the medium of tangible felt beauty.

Sometimes I imagine being a lawyer, an advocate, a public defender..knowing the law well so as to subvert it’s misuse by evil people in high places eager to destroy others life for a buck.
I imagine protecting the innocent against those who would use the law against ‘they’ who are innocently unknowing of their schemes and to condemn those falsely accused with unfair and unjust punishments.
I often imagine saving people through diligent study and erudition.

Sometimes I wonder about these things because I am sure that vocation isn’t the full description of who I am and yet I can’t help but think these desires of my soul describe some ineffable inner truth about myself.

What are some things you’ve dreamed about your life?

 

 

 

 

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{To Blog Or Not To Blog?} that is the question.

I heard it once said that if I am a Christian I ought to be like a lemon and when life truly squeezes me only Jesus should come out.

I guess I’m glad I don’t believe God’s acceptance of me is only relegated to my performance because sometimes I have been a real dunce! Good parents run to their children when they cry and often times it is when a child feels they have sucked the most that they are most in need of their parents encouragement. My relationship with my Father God resonates with that feeling for sure.

Years ago I started blogging before Justin Timberlake stole them (Myspace).

I wrote my way through and out of some of the biggest challenges of my life.

I also began prayer journaling while in massage therapy school sometime back in 2009 and I still believe that that has been a deep place of healing in my personal life that has helped me collect my thoughts and be the most authentic version of me that I believe I truly am.

Blogging is healthy to me and I believe I should do it too because it is much like journaling but shared with you too!

I even believe I could be good at it!

I’m wanting to take this journey and perhaps even make this the beginning of my writing and more active public content generation campaign.

I have always wanted to solely work online and the 2020 pandemic might be making this an official full time reality and even necessity;

I want to invite readers to express their thoughts in the comment section.

Would you like to hear about my crazy life; a life I’ve attempted to live very well?

I have had many crazy adventures and many deep effective spiritual experiences. On “Musings of A Picture Frame Conversationalist” that is what I am planning to cover… everything from life and love, neuro-divergent self advocacy, music and art, mysticism, work from home tips and tricks, links to some of my own online work and artistic projects and of course just good ole fashioned fun!

P.S. I am considering either starting a Patreon or some other means to gauge interest and raise funds to officially start a fully operational fully monetized blog and to help fund ongoing projects so I can share from the depths uninhibited.

If you would like to support my quest to officially become a full fledged blogger / online nerd entrepreneur I am trying to raise around 4 to 500$ to get my first premium year of WordPress payed off and a few other protools expenses to bring new content on a regular basis.

I don’t know why this has taken so long for me to attempt to do but I feel it is worth it. I have decided Pandemic or not that this 2020 I am going to do my best to grow in personal healing and wholeness and to spread the message of my life, what God’s teaching me in it and to share on all the weird stuff I like.

If you wish to support immediately I will be gifting bandcamp album promo codes personally to anyone who gifts 7$ or more to my paypal at shastat78@gmail.com . If you are making a contribution please let me know in the comments below! Let me know what you think!

Thank you…from the “Picture Frame Coversationalist.”

https://jamesbroxson.bandcamp.com/track/filmless-superstar

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When young you reasoned young.

I’m not old. I’m not young.

I am learning.

Processing down the aisle of life and seeking to love to live in an affection for the Ultimate and the True, unfettered by self conscious indulgence.

I am not better.

I am the same.

I am not backsliding.

I am myself.

I slide forward where I can find a Liberty Mirror.

I don’t base my progress on mere externalizations.

Such efforts are against the processes.

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Sound Bite Inequality.

We live in a day and age within which the zeitgeist is a self elational reliance on soundbites.

With each new acceptable prejudice those who do not hold to old prejudices are condemned as if they do.

The rich are condemned by the poor (even if they follow the gospel and help the poor).

And the the poor are condemned by the rich as wasting away in the despair of self-dissipation. (even if they work hard and follow ‘conservative’ prudence)

In the end all of this is vanity.

The black condemn the white as if all the white are the same.

The white condemn the black as if all the black are the same.

This is sound-bite inequality. It is not retained through originality of thought as if it were some hip libertarian proposal (equally farcical in it’s straining to be original).

The desert of modern man is to search for a thought of his own mind or of a mind that has found itself alone yet visible.

Conversation isn’t happening because the liberals are over ‘that’.

Change isn’t happening because conservatives and libertarians like their liberties..whatever that means.

“You are all sinners!” says Christ “AND YOU CAN’T SEE IT!”

None of you are better than the other but none of you looks at his brother as better than himself.

Race causes variance because the ‘old school’s’ are skeptical of science which says that the human race is one and that ethnic variety doesn’t change the uni-vocal DNA profile.

I have mentally disowned myself from society or as St. Benedict said “I have become a stranger to worldly ways.”

“I am for peace and they are for fighting.” say’s the Prophet.

“All day long I have reached out my hands to a cantankerous and wayward people.”

 

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How to survive shipwrecks.

I don’t know about you.. but sometimes life is plain hard.

It doesn’t matter what you do..

or what you don’t do. A fish on a deck can flop around alot without getting any where. “Sometimes it’s just a matter of time before we fall back into the water.”.. we say to ourselves with meager hope.

I don’t know about you… but in my life sadness doesn’t come at opportune moments. It doesn’t come when there are people around to console.

It doesn’t come when the​ phones about to ring or I’m about to receive a message from someone I am ready to talk to.

Sadness, depression and lethargy are common bedfellows.

I don’t know about you..  but life is tiring; whether emotionally or physically it doesn’t matter. There are those who look at spiritual and mental malaise as secondary to physical predicaments​.. but why did Jesus relegate so much to the poor if they were not already royalty; as if to denote that worldly conceptions of royalty are not much to be pitied?

With much power comes much responsibility and no common Man appreciates as virtuous he who pisses away vast wealth in dissipation.

We don’t live in an age of personal responsibility because we are all victims of our PTSD. No greater assurance of never rising from the ashes than the condolence card that we are merely victims and there is nothing we can ever do about that!

“Do not forsake the assembling together for by doing so some have made a shipwreck of their faith.”

There is a backwoods Baptist sign in Alabama that many non religious and some religious people as well laugh at that says “Go to church or the devil will get you.”

The funny thing about this without talking about Pitchfork man catching you because you were away from Church on Sunday for “sick leave” is this..

Who is banding together? People are decrying all of the tension in the air right now but don’t you see that society was never meant to be a crony crew of lone wolfs?

I was going to go to Church tonight but I was too exhausted to drive (a common situation these days during the week..) and yet I thought something.. “I ‘will’ still go to Church tonight.” I decided​ to call onto hearts that resonate so sweetly attuned to the truth. I know not everyone who reads me has the same ideas about Christ but that does not mean truth is not leading and challenging our world via that still small voice. I believe Jesus was true when he said “Who ever is for us is not against us!” Listen people.

I tell you a secret..

A house divided cannot stand.

A boat is like a house for travelers.

And boats are not meant to be landlocked on sand. That is marooning and on our trek we have no time to stay here. We must keep moving!

The two houses that divided against each other must know that traitors lie in their midst and these traitors are emissaries of peace.

The two houses are under the illusion that they are in different families and yet they live under one roof and make elaborate sheet tents in separate rooms.

The house is divided.. it won’t stand.

That is unless they come out of their tents, stop listening to words from the “oracles” crush the crystal balls and meet in the family room.

Until then don’t be surprised if the boat continues sinking.

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depression, mental health, love, kindness, golden rule, religion Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

The Fight has Begun.

It is time for me to write. The Gospel fight compels me. I am over it…all of it.

Thank God that I am a pseudo-masochist, a glutton for punishment if you will; because if I was not then I would be dead already.

I know that I was born for a time like this. I know I was born for a reason.

I am shamelessly a propagandist. I am in danger. People like me are necessary.

All parts of every possible thing has been leaning to this time.

I want you to know a secret.. many are marching but where are we going?

It is high and time to be the change we want to see in the world.

We are all riding on a train and education is begging us to conform..but friends that is not the answer.

Communism is begging, capitalism is vying for our attention. For humanities sake do not cave. Do not bend. Be an apostle for common sense. The state of the Union is at hand. The balance of all things is at your control.

You are the authority along with the sacred voice that guides you. It is time to survive. It is time to be human again. Fear not even though your body fears. Fear not even though your soul senses turmoil. ‘BE’ or be not…that is the answer. My prayers are with you and I covet yours.

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Politics, Philosophy, Learning and living. Uncategorized

My Make Trump Burger phase.

I made Trump a Burger. I added the extension to my Google Chrome. It made for a few laughs.  I don’t exactly remember where it was that I picked it up  online but with enough demand I will find it again and post it for your enjoyment. Essentially the extension takes all pictures of Donald Trump you find on the internet and replaces it with a picture of a juicy burger.

I removed the extension.

Don’t get me wrong, it was fun for a time but I got to thinking. 2016 was a year of losing many personal relationships. Many of them soured. Many disappeared and the idea of ‘relating’ anymore to these uninvited politicians on TV that were being beamed into my life via television or social media just tilted me to much radical apathy about the whole political system altogether. I broke up with them. We had a break up guys and it was pretty bad. It got me thinking. Of course I see nothing wrong with satire and hence I made Trump a Burger. Yes I did..

That’s all well and good of course but the hour is serious to me. I honestly don’t know a better way to say it other then this; If I disagree with the direction this country is going I want to be one who thinks more critically about whats happening ‘in it’ and not succumb to the intellectual malaise and lethargy that stems from lite jabs and (in my opinion), Trumpian below the belt insults. Satire sometimes dies quick. It might live on somehow, however trite in the collective consciousness but as something easily dismissed by every armchair philosopher of contrary opinion.

I don’t want my efforts to stand up for what I believe is right just to be glossed over permanently by a seeming inability to think critically about the here and now; nor do I want my contrariness to what is happening right now only to be dismissed as an immature lack of Right Wing Conservative indoctrination.  Like I said before, this doesn’t mean I discourage every one from making Trump a Burger if your just tired of seeing him painted all over your inter-webz news results, but as for me I don’t want to just be dismissed as a liberal, nor do I want the liberals to have that full satisfaction. Left and Right are one coin that I left in a coffer a long time ago. It’s straight ahead for this guy. I’m over my phase.

 

 

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